KM100 and FANS24

This weekend was really cool. I got up stupidly early on Saturday morning after
being out til midnight the night before with my new 3 week old girlfriend. F-U
to everyone who just said "Awww". Double F-U to everyone who just
journied to creepy land.

Kettle Moraine 100

I was kinda debating what I was gonna do. We had a club mate running the KM100
miles race and he wanted a pacer for 38 miles. Ok, no way I am running 38
miles and no way I would run 38 miles and it not be a race for me. Anyhow, I
ride up to Kettle Moraine. As per usual with the mcy, I took a circuitous
route. I got to the Nordic Area and it was filled with cars, but a ghost town.
Unlike FANS24 the KM100 don’t run in tiny girlie man loops, such that a man
with binoculars could watch the entire race from anywhere on the lake. I
decided to take the MCY out to the Bluff road aid station. By this time it
might be 1:00p and I run in to confusion corner, maybe a mile.

KM100 Map

The little Y-intersection is confusion corner, and in addition to the orange trails there is a horse trail that passes through this intersection as well.

I was going to alert my club mate that I’d wait here until he went into the start of the second lap and came out, then pace him out to Rice lake and back (miles ~70-92). As I waited, a runner coming down the trail asks if I have water. I was wearing bright yellow running shorts and a bright yellow singlet. So I said to myself, “WTF, would I be carrying water you maroon?” He looks uncomfortable, so I run him into the aide station to make sure he gets to water ok. Then I ran back out to
confusion corner and continued my wait. About 30 minutes later two other guys come through. One is very concerned about the other and wants to know if I have water. About this time I remember, these idiots just ran 50 miles, they may be tired and not in their right mind. We all know there’s no maybe about it. The second runner is a relay guy, so I let him know I’ll take responsibility for
the suffering guy and excuse him to continue his race. I walked new guy into the aide station and made sure the official heard the first runners concerns. I’m pretty sure the ailing runners name was Eric, but since none of you were there, it’s what we’re gonna call him. Eric was fine, very mild dehydration and a banged up ankle. Running not only ruins your knees, but ankles are suspect too.  Crap, now I need another mile to get out to confusion corner again. On this pass, I see Christine Crawford. I kinda think that chick is a stud. I met her on a bike ride last year and she crushed me on the bike while telling me what a stud ultra-runner she was. Christine had a tough week, not unlike DB, with colds or viruses or whatever and was taking antibiotics from a pez dispenser most of the week. She looked rather good though and she’s just like that on race day. Task to be done and
she’s gonna do it. I wave and get back to confusion corner.

A while later, btw, I am concerned that I sat in the woods so long by myself that day, but that’s
another story. Anyhow, later comes down the hill another club mate who I did
not even know was entered, so I run him to the aide station to catch up and see
how he’s doing. He screwed up putting his drop bag in the wrong pile so he
couldn’t get his hydration pack and was relegated to using a hand-held. He said
he could not carry the thing a foot farther, apparently running 50 miles with a
2 pound weight wears on the arms. I take his bottle since he only has another 7
miles and he feels ok, plus there is one more aid station midway to the finish.
I ran his bottle to my mcy, and hustled back to confusion corner.

I am worried because my runner has not come through yet, then I get selfish. I start doing
math and at his current rate and waiting another 15 miles to then join him for 20 miles, that would be like about well forever til I could get on the bike and head to Minnesota. So I decide I’ll run the 15 miles to the start and back of round two (7.5 both ways) and then I can get on the bike. Well finally, he gets to me and I explain my plan, to wit he responds, Oh, I’m just doing the 100K.
What!?!? Ok, fine, well I’m all dressed up to run and have no place to go, so I decide to trek out to Rice Lake on my own. Secretly, I’m kinda happy, because as a pacer, I’d have had to run 11-12 minute miles and those don’t typically go well for me.

Ok, I go back to the mcy, stow my keys and head out on the trails. I was a tad harsh with my no place to go, this Kettle Moraine area is pretty cool for running. Well I head out and having stood around for 3 hours, I was a tad tight, oh, and I’m old and recently found out, I need to warm up to run now a days. The section I head out on has only had a couple relay teams head out onto it so it’s not going to be crowded. About 3 miles in I start to do the math that I did before and figure at 10 min miles, this will take 200 minutes (that assumes it was a 20 mile route, oops) and 200 minutes is well several hours and I started at 5:40p and given that the sun sets at sunset, it might be dark before I get back. You know, I shoulda brought the headlamp; oh well. Btw, water probably would have been a good idea too, you dolt! Well I head out and I’m managing mid-8 minute miles and it feels pretty good, then a few sub-8s snuck in. I was thinking that I could go 15 or 20 and was gonna play it be feel. Well at the 7 mile mark, I have passed all the relay teams, but one. I was feeling ok, and wanted to see what the rest of the course looked like so I forged on. It really was an enjoyable course to run on. As I was running I kept thinking about how these rocks were laughing at me, because while I was now still strong and it was light out, when I started weakening and it got dark, they were gonna bite me. Runners have the strangest inner dialogues. At about 10 miles I could tell that I was feeling under hydrated and was a tad tired, but well we’re at 10 and since this is the turn around point, too late. Wait a second, there’s no turn-around point here. Maybe it’s around the corner, nope. Well it turns out It’s 10.8 miles to Rice Lake from where I started. Well I get to the turn round and everyone cheers, then I remind them that I did not run 4 minute miles for the first 80 miles and therefore was not the race leader, but I’d enjoy a glass of water. They laughed and fawned over me to get me water. I will say this is typical for ultra aid stations, they treat competitor like rock stars. I felt bad because I was not entered and did not want to take from runners behind me who deserved and paid for the hospitality. So a cup of water and I was on my way. The run back was every bit as enjoyable as the way out, and I played games trying to recall what was around the next bend. I did find
out that I would be a terrible ultra runner, I could only muster the will power to walk up 3 hills. At mile 13 I pass through an aid station that was there on the way out, but now it’s starting to attract a lot of spectators, so again I remind them that I am not race leader, but I did see Eric, ailing guy from
earlier. He opted out at the 100K, probably a good call. But he saw I was thirsty and ran and got me two glasses of water. Karma is pretty cool, sometimes. So freshly hydrated I head out for the last 7-ish miles. At about mile 19.5 the rocks finally won. I didn’t lift my foot enough, the rock grabbed
it and “Down Goes PaulyGram!” But it was a cool fall. It was on a downhill section, I tucked pretty well, rolled across one hip on a rock and then the other hip. But then something awesome happened, the momentum brought me to one knee and one foot and I just took the next stride and away we go. I was reminded last night that a video of the fall would be great. Well I finish the run, get back to my mcy and set the directions for FANS into the GPS.

Somewhere in my mind I though Minneapolis was only another 3 hours away, oops. It’s just after 9p and I am on my way. No I didn’t skip telling you about the stretching I did before leaving, I just didn’t stretch, oops. Well I do the calculations and it looks like FANS is optimistically a 3:00a arrival time, but I need food first, so closer to 4:00a. First order of business, get off these forested roads while on the mcy; big safety concern running into animals on a mcy. Once I get to the highway, I start charging west northwest. About the time, I hit the Dells I realize I need food. I stop at a Denny’s, couldn’t find a 24 hour greasy spoon and I was off my range, so Denny’s had to suffice. I looked at the phone and Wrigley left a text so I could contact her when I got close and Willie mentioned she had to change plans for our morning run, but that DB was doing well and Don was, well more on that later. It took the entire breakfast to stop shivering. Once I got back out to the bike I opted for putting on the lower fairings and chaps for the rest of the ride. It was pretty eventless; at about Tomah, where the highway splits, it seemed to drop temps. This was the last noticeable time I felt a temp change.

Beer Me!

I arrived at Lake Nokomis just after 3:30a, I try to find WG, and by proxy, Don, DB and Mrs. DB. They are living La Vita Loco. Step one: I’m offered a beer. I love swamp rules. It way very good, it was the Surley that has been on the boards recently. At this point, I have no idea what DB nor
Don looks like so WG had to point them out. It took about 6 laps before we found Don and at that time I finally realized that Don’s support tent was not the same as DBs. Runners are stupid when sleep deprived and cold. WG gets me up to speed. Apparently, she ran, and I will remember that eventually. DB had a knee go wonky and he’s really just doing loops now and Don should be dead but somehow he was resurrected and is now reeling off laps fairly well. It’s neat seeing how this event runs and I encourage you all to watch or enter it someday; great people. Well the end time is going to be 8:00a and late in the 5 o’clock hour we start to see hints of light. By about 6:30, I’m too antsy and need to get a run in. I fear I am not well, this never used to happen. So I go
get on a pair of shorts and run a couple loops. By now it’s warm enough that I can stay in shorts and a sweat top. The race is closing in on the final hour.

The way this race works is that these buffoons are running ~2.4mi loops, but you only get credit for a full loop. If you are caught out on the course with 95% complete in a loop, but the gun goes off, you revert back to the prior lap. So once you feel you can no longer do full loops in the allotted time, you run “short” loops. These are 220yds out and back from the start finish line to the 220yd mark and its right through the area where all the support tents are. This is kinda cool, because everything is really starting to come alive again. There’s a great deal of activity and it’s impossible not to be engaged. So that’s it right? NO!!! with about 5 minutes to go, those still moving really start to move. Even DB ran the last few legs. The guy who won, probably ran a close to 30 second 220yd leg for his last dash. Please don’t forget that he just ran 14X miles in the past 23 hours 59 minutes and 30 seconds and now he’s busting out a 30 second 220? Sight to behold.